FUUUUUUUUUUTUUUUUUUUUURE

[shadowreamyx]

P much.

I have no idea what I want to do in life.

Every time I think too far into something I am like 'NOPE NOPE NOPE NADDA MAYDAY, PULL OUT'

Science is alright. Forensic science and being able to piece together how somebody was killed/died is cool. Blood splatter analysis. That's cool. Working for the police--NOT COOL NOT COOL.

'Why don't you work for the government--' NOPE.

'You like piecing together people's problems why not psychology or psychiatrist--' NOPE.

'You are good at history what about law--' I ONLY KNOW CERTAIN AREAS AND LAW SEEMS SO DULL.

I really have this childish gushing over acting. It's so amazing. The thought of meeting new people, getting to know the character and 'living' and portraying their emotions and thoughts--it's astounding. I always get stupidly happy when I think about it.
Then I remember how many people strive to be actors and how many people just bust and never get anywhere in life and just settle or are pining after cheap gigs. You have to have this talent--you have to have that look in your eyes, the emotion in your voice--and more.
It's terrifying.
What if I pursue acting and I don't have that--/that/?
I don't want to settle in life but I don't want to live in the slums.

I don't know.